Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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