coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
