if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize
