Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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