He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
