Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
