this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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