I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
