ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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