The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
