Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
