Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
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