I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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