Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
