Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
