yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
