If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
