I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Randomize
