When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
