He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
