Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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