she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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