I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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