Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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