Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Every concussion has its silver lining
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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