nutella sex= disaster
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
