I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
