And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I just found puke in my bra..
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
