that's an acceptable place to lick
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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