At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
