I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
