We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
