If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize