Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
