did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
