I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
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