I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
