How'd it feel making her break her religion?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
