So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
