I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
