My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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