physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
