Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Operation Purity has been aborted
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Randomize
