How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
