Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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