There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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