two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
