Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
