we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
