Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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