i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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