return my video game
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
