When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
